Chutkula

एक कामगार अपने वेतन का चेक लेकर अपने मालिक के पास पहुंचा - ''यह चेक मेरे वेतन से दो सौ रूपये कम का है।'' उसने कहा।
''मुझे पता है'' - मालिक ने कहा। ''पिछले महीने जब मैंने तुम्हें दो सौ रूपये ज्यादा का चेक दिया था तब तो तुमने कोई शिकायत नहीं की थी।''
''ठीक है, वह आपकी पहली गलती थी इसलिये मैंने ध्यान नहीं दिया।'' - कामगार ने जवाब दिया। ''लेकिन अगर गलती करना आप अपनी आदत बना लेंगे तो मुझे कहना ही पड़ेगा न।''

windows in Hindi

Bill Gates had announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Hindi.
Here are some Windows related terms that are to be used in the Hindi version of ........
Khidkiyan'DoHazar ( Windows 2000 ):

1.Phaail = File

2.Bachao = Save

3.Aise Bachao = Save as

4.Subko Bachao = Save All
5.Mujhe Bachao = Help
6.Dhoondo = Find
7.Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
8.Hilao = Move
9.Dak =Mail
10.Dakiya = Mailer
11.Paas se dhekho = Zoom
12.Door se dhekho = Zoom Out
13.Kholo = Open
14.Bandh Karo = Close
15.Naya = New
16.Purana/Khatara = Old
17.Badli Karo = Replace
18.Bhaago = Run ;
19.Chaapo = Print
20.Dekh Ke Chaapo = Print Preview
21.Nakal Utaaro/Kaapi =Copy
22.Kaato = Cut
23.Chipkao = Paste
24.Payshal Chipkao = Paste Special
25.Goli Maaro = Delete
26.Nazaara = View
27.Hatyaar = Tools
28.Hatyaar Khamba = Toolbar
29.Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
30.Kalti Maaro = Exit
31.Ped = Tree
32.Thooso = Compress
33.Chooha = mouse
34.Tik Karo = Click
35.Tik-Tik Karo = Double Click
36.Idhar-se-Udhar - Forward
37.khamba= Scrollbar

Additional Softwares

1.MICROSOFT WINDOWS 2000 -
ATISUKSHMA MULAYAM (microsoft)
KHIDKIYAAN (windows)
AVRUTTI (version)
DOHAZAR (2000)

2. Double Click with the left mouse button Chuhe ke baye kaan ko zatpat do
baar marodkar 'tadak-tadak'=(clik-click)kariye

3. GPF(GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT) - Sarvasaadharan Suraksha Mein Gadbad

4. 'This progr am has performed an illegal operation - "Abort,Retry or
Ignore" ? "Is karyakram ne gairkanooni kaam kiya hai -zatak se bandkaro
(abort),Koshish karte raho/Hum onge Kamyaab (retry),
Goli Maro (Ignore)"

5. MICROSOFT POWERPOINT - "AtiSukshma Mulayam ShaktiBindu"
6. MICROSOFT WORD 6 - "AtiSukshma Mulayam Shabda Cheh"
7. MICROSOFT ACCESS - "AtiSukshma Mulayam PRAVESH KI SAMMATI"
8. FOXPRO - "Lombdigiri (Lomiree) mein Maahir"
9. MICROSOFT VISUAL C++ - "AtiSukshma Mulayam Nazaaraa C adhik hi adhik"
10. OFFICE 2000 - "Karyalaya 2000 mein"
11. Internet Explorer - "Taaron ke Jaal ka Sanshodhak"
12. Lotus Notes - " Kamal ke Ruppeye"
13. ACCESS DENIED - " Ghusne ki Agya nahi "

Laloooo Prasad jokes

Laallooo Prasad Yadav gave a speech to "pharin delegation" from Amrika. The topic of the speech was COWW

What is a Cow
HE IS THE COW. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, (but will do so when he is got child.). He is same like - God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. (Horses don't have any such attachment.)

Use of a cow
What can it do? Various - ghee, butter, cream, curd, and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species. Also, his other motion... (gobar) is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making Pizza that can be used for heating oneself in winter. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chews with his teeth who are situated in the inside of the mouth.

Tailing a cow
He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies, which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he, gives hit with it.

I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God I am finished. Jay Hind!"

1st love letter written from ram to sita in Punjabi

Pyari Sitta,
Main itthe raji khushi se han and hope ke tu v theek thaak hovengi,
Laxman tannu bahut yaad karda si.
Main is Bandar de hath tannu chitthi bhej reha haan,
Tu bilkul tension na layi main bahut jaldi tenu ravan kolochura lavanga.
Main AIRTEL da postpaid le liya si, RAVAN nu main mobile te bhot GAALIYAAN kadiya te SAALE ne katt ditta,
Chal koi ni maine aana ta hai hi. Taan KUTUNGA saale KANJAR nu.
Main tere naal bhi ek AIRTEL ka prepaid bhej riya si usme 1500 SMS free wali scheme ha, Tu roz mere ko SMS kari.
Chinta na kari, jab bhi gal karne ko ji kare, ek miss call mar diyo.
Main yaha se tenu baat kar levenga.Tu Mere bill di chinta na kariyo,
Sugreev nu payment da jimma de ditta si.


Accha OK
See Uuuu.


With Luv

Dashrath da Vadda Puttar "RAM"

Appointment Letter

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft
Corporation, USA.A few days later he got this reply:

"Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,We are sorry to intimate you that you do not
meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.Thanks"

Laloo Prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a
party and when all the guests had come, he said: "Bhaiyon aur Behno,
aap ko jaan

kar khushi hogee ki hum Amereeca mein naukri paa gaya hoon."

Everyone was delighted.Laloo Prasad continued...... "Ab main aap sab ko
apnaa appointment letter

padkar sunaongaa - par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath
hindi

main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ..... Pyare Laloo Prasad bhaiyya

We are sorry ....... humse galti ho gayee

to intimate you that ......... .aapko yeh batana hai ki

You do not meet ............. .aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement ..... humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any further correspondence ---- ab Letter vetter
bhejne

ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.

No phone call ....... phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained ... bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks ......... aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyawaad